Knowing when to keep silent and when to speak

Tags: Friendship, Apostolate, Sincerity, Daring

Don Alvaro del Portillo, St Josemaria’s first successor at the head of Opus Dei, and Fr Emilio Bonell listen to St Josemaria speaking at a gathering in June 197

Keep silent, and you will never regret it. Speak, and you often will.
The Way, 639

Always remain silent when you feel the upsurge of indignation within you. And do so, even when you have good reason to be angry.
For, in spite of your discretion, in such moments you always say more than you wish.
The Way , 656

The fruitfulness of silence! All the energy I see you waste with those repeated indiscretions is energy taken from the effectiveness of your work.
Be discreet.
The Way , 645

``Why do so many people spread slander?'', you ask in distress. Some do so through error, fanaticism or malice. But most of them pass on the story through inertia, superficiality and ignorance.
That is why, I insist again: when you cannot praise, and there is no need to speak, keep quiet!
Furrow , 592

In silentio et in spe erit fortitudo vestra — in quietness and in trust shall be your strength. This is what the Lord assures to those who are his own. Keep quiet, and trust in him. These are two essential weapons in moments of difficulty, when there doesn't seem to be any human solution.
Look at Jesus in his Holy Passion and Death: suffering borne without complaint is also a measure of love.
The Forge, 799

Silence is the door-keeper of the interior life.
The Way , 281

'Minutes of silence'. Leave silence for those whose hearts are dry.
We Catholics, children of God, speak with our Father who is in heaven.
The Way , 115.

What tenderness and care Mary and the Holy Patriarch must have shown towards Jesus, as they looked after him during his childhood, all the while, silently, learning so much from him. Their souls would become more and more like the soul of that Son, who was both Man and God. This is why his Mother, and after her St Joseph, understand better than anyone the feelings of the Heart of Christ; and the two of them are thus the best way, I would say the only way, to reach the Saviour.
Friends of God, 281

St Josemaria drawing ducks, with their beaks wide open. He always reminded people about the need to be very sincere in order to be holy.

I won't hide from you the fact that, when I have to correct someone or take a decision that will cause pain, I suffer before, during and after it; and I am not a sentimental person. It consoles me to think that it is only animals that don't cry. We men, children of God, do cry. As I see it, there will be times when you too will have to suffer if you are really serious about doing your duty faithfully. Don't forget that it is more comfortable (though it is a mistake) to avoid suffering at any cost, with the excuse of not wanting to hurt others. This inhibition often hides a shameful escape on our part from suffering, since it isn't usually pleasant to correct someone in a serious matter.
My children, remember that hell is full of closed mouths.
Friends of God , 161

A number of you here are doctors. Forgive my presumption in taking another example from medicine. What I say may not be very scientific, but the ascetical comparison will still be valid. To heal a wound, the first thing to do is to clean it well, including a wide area around it. The surgeon knows that the cleaning hurts, but he also knows that there will be worse pain later if it is not done. A disinfectant is also applied immediately. Naturally it stings (or, as they say where I come from, it prickles) and hurts the patient. But it's the only way if the wound is not to become infected.

If it is obvious that such measures must be taken to protect bodily health, although it may only be a relatively minor wound, then when the health of the soul is at stake — the very nerve centre of a man's life — how much more necessary it is to wash, to cut away, to scrape, to disinfect, to suffer! Prudence demands that we intervene in this way and that we don't flee from duty, because to side-step our obligations here would indicate a great lack of concern for and even a grave offence against the virtues of justice and fortitude.

You can be sure that a Christian who really wants to do everything honestly in the eyes of God and of his neighbour, needs to possess all the virtues, at least potentially. But Father, you will ask me, what about my weaknesses? And I will answer: can't a doctor who is sick cure others, even if his illness is chronic? Will his illness prevent him from prescribing proper treatment for other patients? Obviously not. In order to cure others, all he needs is to have the necessary knowledge and to apply it with the same concern as he would in his own case.
Friends of God , 161

A friend of yours, loyally and charitably, points out to you, on your own, certain things which tend to mar your behaviour. You are convinced that he is mistaken: he does not understand you. If that false conviction, born of your pride, remains, you will never change.
I pity you: you lack the decision to seek holiness.
Furrow, 707

Rest assured, there are many people there who can understand your way. There are also souls who, whether they know it or not, are looking for Christ and have not found Him. But ``How can they hear about Him, if nobody tells them?''
Furrow , 196

Do you hesitate to launch yourself into speaking about God, about a Christian life, about vocation, ... because you do not want to cause suffering? You forget that it is not you who are doing the calling, it is He: Ego scio quos elegerim — I know well those I have chosen.
Moreover, I should not like to think that behind this false respect lurked a spirit of comfort or lukewarmness. At this stage, do you still prefer poor human friendship to the friendship of God?
Furrow, 204

In the name of this victorious love of Christ, we Christians should go out into the world to be sowers of peace and joy through everything we say and do.
Christ is passing by, 168

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